Posts Tagged ‘Snort’

22 Things You Should Never Do In Bed

Once, I got drunk at a wedding and took home a yuppie. He looked so cute in his white tux and charmed me into dancing to Earth, Wind & Fire. Needless to say, I couldn’t wait to take that stallion for a ride. But, as I unzipped his pants, he said, “Don’t get excited, you won’t be impressed.” A small penis never ruined my good time—until then. Things went from bad to worse. He was a deep-breathing whiner who just lay on his back because, he warned me, “Girls only get off when they’re on top.” Something tells me those other ladies weren’t given any other option—and they definitely didn’t orgasm. There are some things—like selling yourself short and telling someone how to get off—that you should never say or do during sex …

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  • I Told A Guy His Penis Was Too Small September 8, 2010
    I told him he had a tiny penis. Well, if you want to be precise, I actually told him that his junk probably couldn't hit my sexual "spot"—which isn't much better, I suppose. […]
    Leonora Epstein
  • Meet The New Kim Kardashian Sex Doll September 7, 2010
    Oh, look, it's the celebrity sex doll we've all been waiting for, the Kim Kardashian love doll. Her name is Kinky Kim, and she seems to like to eat. Here's the not-politically-correct tag line on the box: "When you stick it in her face ... it'll get all over the place." Which is an allusion to that Carl […]
    Leonora Epstein
  • Dudes Race Rapids With Sex Dolls September 4, 2010
    Congratulations (I guess) go out to St. Petersburg native Vladislav Pavlenko, first-place finisher in this year's annual "Bubble Baba Challenge," in which hundreds of people leap into Russia's Vuoksa River on top of an inflatable sex doll and race down the rapids. Pavlenko's time of 2 minutes 47 seconds was eno […]
    Leonora Epstein
  • At The Boys' Club: 10 Tips For Better Sex September 4, 2010
    A good sex life takes time and effort to maintain. It won't always be easy—our busy lives are taxing and often leave us tired and devoid of the imagination and motivation required to keep up the pace. Having good sex doesn't necessarily mean spending hours and hours of frolicking, it can be as simple as doing something a litt […]
    Leonora Epstein
  • What's Your Number? September 2, 2010
    What's a good "number" for a girl at age 21/25/30/35. What about a guy? What are the averages? People ask me this kind of question a lot, and I'll be honest with you: I don't get it. Read more ... […]
    Leonora Epstein