Funky Love

Posts Tagged ‘Sexuality’

Your boyfriend tends to remark on what the men in the bar are wearing as often as he does the girls. When he’s had a little to drink he flirts a little with the men at the table. Although he says that he is hetero, you are beginning to wonder if maybe he would bat for both teams, if given the chance.

Bisexuality is fast becoming less though of as a third orientation. Some bisexuals contend that we are all bisexual to a degree. Others submit that it is a natural part of curiosity and most people have thoughts or feelings about the same sex as well as the opposite sex, but do not consider themselves as homosexual. Still others shout from the roof tops that it is the best of both worlds. So if he is attracted to both men and women, does that automatically make him a bisexual?

Not necessarily. The best definition I’ve heard of sexual orientation is based not on who you have slept with, but who you’d like to sleep with. Take it for what it’s worth. It’s also a myth that all bisexuals are just going through a phase in determining which sexuality they prefer to identify with. This is dangerous thinking because it implies that homosexuality is a choice, which the moral majority would have you believe. We know that it is not.

You need also remember that sexuality is like a spiral, not a line. It can change and shift over time. Just because a person is attracted to both sexes doe not mean that they can not have a magnanimous relationship with one person. They have chosen you as a person, not as a sexual being. Bisexuals are often not attracted equally to both sexes, either, although nothing is set in stone-some are.

So what are you going to do about it? Remember that he may not see it himself, or he may be denying it, or confused, or afraid you won’t understand. You need to figure out how you feel about the possibility before you confront him or jump to conclusions that could hurt your relationship. If you have a problem with it, maybe you should look at why. Are you insecure or afraid he will “turn gay” and leave you if it comes out in the open? Honesty in a relationship is the most important aspect of intimacy, and not sex.

If you are with a great guy and have great sex and you love each other, who cares who he is attracted to? He may never act on it, or you may discuss the possibility of him acting on his feelings if it’s out in the open. If it’s true he will probably be relieved.

But what if you’re wrong? If you think he may be bisexual but aren’t sure, you had better make reasonably sure before you ask him about it. If the two of you have been together for awhile, this will probably be easier, but if the relationship is new you might want to check with old girlfriends or mutual friends before you shoot off your mouth. If you are just being easily jealous and insecure because of your own issues, get a grip.

Many people have owned, seen, or thought of owning sex toys, but many couples do not explore sex toys together. Perhaps it is because many people view sex toys as dirty or something that does not need to be done within a marriage or serious relationship. Or perhaps it is simply because we have a tendency to be embarrassed about such matters. If more couples would come together and realize that sex toys and a playful attitude towards sex and their time together in the bedroom then a great deal of people would be happier with their sex lives. Sex toys can allow couples to experiment with one another and their own sexuality in new and exciting ways.

Sex toys don’t have to be looked at in a negative light like many people look at them. They aren’t dirty or even anything to be embarrassed about. Of course, the vast majority of people wouldn’t give rave reviews over a new sex toy of some sort over dinner with their family, but these toys aren’t anything that shouldn’t be enjoyed. In fact, they are produced to be enjoyed by consenting adults that have nothing to be embarrassed about! And, when couples can enjoy such things they can learn how to interact sexually in new and exciting ways.

It’s a great idea for couples to talk about sex and sex toys as soon as they begin a sexual relationship. The longer you wait to talk about such matters, the more awkward it will become. Even if you’ve never owned any sex toys in the past, you should be able to express your desire to go shopping for some toys that will accentuate your already steamy sex life. Going shopping for the first time can be a little awkward, but that is why the couple should decide to share all of their feelings while shopping! They should be able to express what they like, what they find interesting, and what they think is absolutely disgusting. Just the sex toy shopping experience can bring a couple closer together because they’ll learn new things about one another.

There are a lot places to buy sex toys, but buying them online is a great idea if one or both people are feeling a bit nervous about it. Buying online will allow you to see full color, vivid pictures of all of the sex toys you could ever imagine without actually stepping foot in an adult store! When you order sex toys online everyone can get what they want and it will arrive at your front door within a matter of days so that the play can begin! Some toys you’ll find that you really enjoy as a couple while others you can simply play or not play with.

Couples may find that they only pull out their sex toys once a month, but it’s the knowledge that there are always new and fun ways to please one another that makes sex toys so much fun. Whether you plan to play with them all of the time or every once and again, sex toys can be a very good thing for couples that have just begun and those that have been together for quite some time.

It’s easy in today’s society to try to force yourself into one category or another where your sexuality is concerned. By society’s standards if you are a woman that is attracted to and has relations with other women you are a lesbian, if you are a man that is attracted to and has relations with other men you are gay, and if you are either male or female and you are attracted to both sexes then you are bi-sexual. These standards are fairly rigid, especially because for most of us sexuality is a journey, an exploration not only of the people around us, but also of ourselves. If we force ourselves to be shoe horned into one of these categories or another we may not be experiencing something that we could really enjoy or that may be a large part of who we are.

Don’t Force It!

If you are predominately attracted to one sex or the other don’t force the issue. Yes, by all standards you may then either be gay or straight but there is no need to assume that things couldn’t change. Even if you are a man that has always been attracted to women there is nothing to say that there isn’t a man out there that is so perfectly suited for you that you wouldn’t at least consider a relationship with him. Does this mean that you are no longer straight? No! It just means that you cannot force the issue. You are not who you are attracted to, and you cannot force yourself to fit into one orientation or another. You are who you are and you are attracted to people because of who they are.

Go Ahead, Experiment!

If you are curious about whether or not your mere attraction to other men or women may be physical why not experiment? As long as you are safe and you take precautions to only experiment with people who are equally as safe, as discretionary, and as quiet about their sexual encounters as you are you will find that you can experiment and find out what else may be out there. If you enjoy yourself, then you will have found a whole new side of yourself. If you find that it is not for you, then you know and you will have grown as a person.

Sex should be Fun!

Sex is a form of expression, and only you know and can choose who you want to have sex with. You don’t have to have sex with only one type of person or one sex to be okay with yourself. As long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else, allow yourself to have fun with your body and to explore through sex and sexuality. Too many people hold back and identify themselves through who they have sex with, and that really is not any way to live!