Funky Love

I don't know? What do you say about something like this? A woman in a bikini top made out of plastic hands over her breasts? Heavy has compiled a list of the top 20 worst bathing suits, but I am going to have to declare this one the winner. It's just ... horrifying. To me, at least. I don't know what to say other than […]

Now men can combine two of their favorite things: masturbation and competitive sports! The Count Machine Onahole is a revolutionary new masturbation device that keeps track of the number of strokes, calories burned, and the total time it takes for the user to achieve orgasm. For just $123 you can insert your throbbing member into a syn […]

I'm going to be honest with you. Knowing the proper term for armpit sex—it's called Axillism, dummy!—totally made my day. I was also pretty stoked to know that a regular sex session burns about 200 calories, that socks can actually prevent orgasms, that Republicans are kinkier than Democrats, and that tights pants are one of […]

I'll get right to it: I seem to be hymenally/orgasmically challenged, and I'm wondering if you can shed any enlightenment on what goes on for me. I enjoy all the sexy activities and play time, but I rarely am able to achieve orgasm. I don't receive any stimulation from my clitoris being touched or vibrated against, there […]

And now from the "Things Which Sound Like Something On '30 Rock' But Are Actually Real" files: The Up Yer Pole pole dancing school in Scotland has begun offering classes for elementary schoolers ages six to 12. Up Yer Pole calls the lessons "pole fit" classes, alleging they are gymnastics classes with no s […]