Archive for the ‘Dating’ Category
Living Out the Top 3 Female Fantasies
Sex life feeling a bit stale? Well, there’s one sexual organ most people neglect: the brain. And it’s your passport back to Sexual Nirvana. Literally millions of us secretly use fantasies during masturbation, and some of us use them to achieve orgasm during sex. So why not own up to your favorites and act them out with your partner for what could be the lustiest sex you’ve had in years? Just follow this step-by-step guide.
Fantasy #1: He’s a virgin ‑- and you’re Mrs. Robinson
Why it appeals to you: It’s a power game and “forbidden” sex for both parties, which is always a guaranteed libido-lifter.
What you’ll need: A “sexy secretary”-type outfit works for this one: a long pencil skirt, shirt unbuttoned to show off a push-up bra, stockings and high heels.
The action plan:
The trick to this one is to move very slowly at first. You’re seducing him, and he’s struggling ‑- torn between ripping off your clothes and worrying about the consequences. (What will his mom say if she finds out? Is she really seducing him or is he reading too much into it?) Say you’re going to fix a drink for each of you, then lead him into the lounge room with your drinks. He sits on the couch, you sit on a chair opposite, crossing your legs and hiking your skirt high. He’s not sure where to look. Make general chit-chat (the sort of stuff you’d ask your son’s friend, if you have/had a teenager), then take the conversation to another ‑- saucier ‑- level. Tell him you don’t think your husband finds you attractive anymore. Ask him, Does he think you’re attractive? What bits? Why? Let him squirm with embarrassment as he tries to be diplomatic ‑- and tries to hide his erection.
At that point you say, You seem a little uncomfortable and move from the chair to sit beside him on the couch. Loosen the first two buttons of his shirt and rub the back of your hand against his exposed chest saying, Such soft skin. So unlike my husband’s. As he squirms, undo the top few buttons of your shirt, take his hand and place it on your breast. Ask him if he likes that.
In between your lurid requests and actions, keep making small talk. Ask him if he’s ever made love to a woman before. He’ll squeak out a no. Ask him if he’d like to make love to you, and tell him it’s okay ‑- you won’t tell. Ask him to take off your top and your bra. Tell him to touch your breasts and instruct him on how you like to be touched. Moan and sigh, but remember: You’re still the grown-up ‑- so not too out of control. Ask him to stand up in front of you and unzip his pants. Admire his body, compliment it, say how hard it is, then give him exquisitely tortuous oral sex ‑- stopping just short of orgasm.
Undress yourself theatrically while maintaining eye contact. Let his eyes caress your body, but don’t let him touch you. Leave on your high heels and stockings. Pose provocatively and caress your curves. Ask him if he likes what he sees and if he wants to touch you. Then undress him, kissing each bit of his flesh as it becomes exposed. When you’re both naked, lead him to the bed, then explain exactly how to make a woman scream in ecstasy. Each touch, kiss, fondle and thrust is his very first, remember. The fantasy ends when he completely loses control ‑- which should happen within about, ohhh, three minutes if you’ve played your part properly!
Fantasy #2: He’s your sex slave
Why it appeals to you: Having someone at your sexual beck and call has obvious benefits. You don’t have to worry about the “no, you first honey” niceties of sex; it’s all about your pleasure, and your pleasure alone.
Why he’ll love it too: Something happens to women during this scenario; they start suggesting things they wouldn’t dare during “normal” lovemaking. Who wouldn’t love a wild woman in his bed?
What you’ll need:
- A leather jacket worn over black underwear
- Stockings and a push-up bra
- Knee-high or thigh-high boots
- A blindfold, scarves or old stockings to tie him up
- A wooden spoon or hairbrush
The action plan:
Start by ordering him to do small tasks ‑- get you a drink, fluff up the pillows, give you a foot massage. Don’t ask, order. Make it clear that you are the boss and he is not to misbehave or he’ll be punished (think of a mild punishment beforehand, like spanking him with the wooden spoon). Try to keep an expressionless face. No Are you okay?, Did I hurt you?, Are you sure you’re enjoying this? This isn’t about him ‑- it’s all about you!
Once you’re both in character, order him to sit or lie down, face turned away from you. Blindfold him and tie his hands behind his back, then push him forward into a submissive position. He’s now naked, bound and blindfolded ‑- completely at your mercy! Grab your wooden spoon or brush and administer a few short, sharp whacks on his bottom. Start caressing and stroking his bottom, the backs of his thighs, reach between his legs and caress his testicles. Wait until he’s moaning for more… then stop.
Tell him it’s up to you to decide what he gets and when, and he has to satisfy you first. Turn him around and order him to do whatever you’d like. No matter how pleasurable what he’s doing to you might be, push him away when he seems to be enjoying himself the most. Grab his hair, hold it tightly and tell him he’s been a bad boy. Administer a few more smacks on his bottom with the spoon. If you’re into talking dirty, keep a running commentary of what’s happening. If he’s blindfolded, paint a picture of what you’re seeing: Look at you, you’re begging for it. I bet you’d love to be untied. But you’re my slave. You have to do every single thing I say. Do you understand me? Are you going to behave? The fantasy ends with you announcing ‑- dramatically ‑- that he’s now free… to service you.
Fantasy #3: You’re abducted by a stranger
Why it appeals to you: The “safe rape” is a very common female fantasy ‑- but it’s such a far cry from the real thing it seems ridiculous to even call it rape. Passionate and forceful, but never violent or painful, the “rapes” in our head differ because we’re always in control, even though we’re being “forced” to submit.
Why he’ll love it too: Being the physical aggressor is taboo for men. Being given a “harmless” outlet to let loose some deeply primitive urges without being punished is appealing.
What you’ll need to act it out: A quiet bedroom and a mirror
The action plan: You’re naked while he’s dressed in street clothes (a dark suit would play up the mysterious stranger element). You’re in your bedroom, admiring your body with your hands and your eyes in a full-length mirror. He sneaks up silently behind you, covers your eyes with his hands and says, Shhh! I won’t hurt you. But you have to do exactly as I say. You freeze and pretend to be terrified. You’re not sure what to do, knowing that he’ll overpower you if you try to get away. He waits for you to calm down and for your breathing to become regular again. Meanwhile, you’re conscious of the sensation of your naked skin against the roughness of his clothes ‑- and you’re oddly excited by it.
He tells you in a low, suggestive voice, that you should draw your curtains before getting undressed at night. He’s been watching and fantasizing and masturbating while watching you for weeks ‑- and he just had to have you. He knows that your boyfriend isn’t due home for hours and that no one else is coming to rescue you either. You remain motionless. You’re torn between wanting desperately to be saved and being sexually fascinated by the idea of someone wanting you so badly that they’d risk everything. You don’t say a word. Still standing behind you, he keeps one hand over your eyes and uses the other to stroke your breasts, your stomach, your neck and your thighs. You’re not sure how to react. You can feel yourself starting to respond physically, even though you know you shouldn’t.
As he touches you, he starts telling you exactly what he plans to do to you ‑- in detail. It seems as if he knows exactly what turns you on and talks just the way you want him to, be it seductive and suggestive, or coarse and explicit. When he feels you begin to weaken, he removes his hands from your eyes and you look in the mirror to see him standing behind you, hands on your breasts, his mouth buried in the nape of your neck, kissing you. He’s even sexier than you’d dared hope. Your resistance wanes, but you refuse to let him know you’re turned on.
Just when you’re beginning to relax, he pulls your arms gently behind your back, holding them together at the wrist and using his other hand to continue exploring.
He maintains eye contact in the mirror and challenges you to tell him you’re not enjoying what he’s doing. At first, you shake your head and say you’re not. But he tells you that you have no choice; you’re in his power.
You resist everything he tries… at first. Then you let him continue. You don’t admit that you’re erotically charged, but your body is giving you away. You’re ready for him. Come on, you want it, he whispers while licking, touching and stimulating you until you can’t take it anymore. Finally you let him penetrate. You give in and leave all the initial innocence behind ‑- resulting in a climax so powerful the neighbors bang on the ceiling!
Is it OK for women to suggest doing 'kinky' things in bed?
Some women get very nervous suggesting saucy stuff because when they do, some men judge them. I suspect this may have happened to your friend, hence her horror at you being so ‘forward’. Despite so called sexual equality, there’s still a huge chasm between what men are supposed to do/like/get up to and what women are supposed to enjoy.
The Sex Doctor Interview – Part 1
The first part of three of an interview with Tracy Cox, the Sex Doctor.
22 Things You Should Never Do In Bed
Once, I got drunk at a wedding and took home a yuppie. He looked so cute in his white tux and charmed me into dancing to Earth, Wind & Fire. Needless to say, I couldn’t wait to take that stallion for a ride. But, as I unzipped his pants, he said, “Don’t get excited, you won’t be impressed.” A small penis never ruined my good time—until then. Things went from bad to worse. He was a deep-breathing whiner who just lay on his back because, he warned me, “Girls only get off when they’re on top.” Something tells me those other ladies weren’t given any other option—and they definitely didn’t orgasm. There are some things—like selling yourself short and telling someone how to get off—that you should never say or do during sex …
Quickies… Are the Best Kind of Sex
…Perfect Your Hand Job
The humble hand job comes into its own – literally – during sex in public places. Apart from kissing, using your hands is the lowest-risk sexual activity – and since it’s how lots of us masturbate, the genitals respond nicely to the right type of touch. “Right” usually means she should do it harder and he should go softer (it’s what each sex is most used to). Not much time? Go for a superfast orgasm for her by positioning her (sitting or standing) in front of you. Rest one palm on the top of her pubic bone and press down firmly, pushing forward, pulling back or moving in circles. Next, insert (well-lubricated) fingers: one inside her vagina, the other in her anus. It’s a three-way she won’t mind you suggesting – or repeating. Blow him away (in all senses) by trying this technique: Twist your hands in opposite directions as you move up and down (one clockwise, one counterclockwise) or make two fists around his penis, hold them centrally, then move one downward and the other upward. Use one-word questions to ask for feedback (harder? faster?) so he only has to answer yes or no. Keep the rhythm constant, building up to a fast speed, then slow it down dramatically before moving back up again. Repeat several times, letting him hover on the brink, before tipping him over with a decided flourish.
A Man's Guide to Women's Lingerie
As men and women all over the world share their warmth on these cold wintry nights, a celebration of love looms on the horizon, and with it, the promise of the coming spring. The rituals of Valentines Day so often consists of a box of chocolates and some roses, followed by dinner, and an expectation of some better than the usual sex. Ever wonder if it could get any better than this? It can.
Read the rest of this entry »
Adult Sex Games To Play With Women
I hate to say this… Sometimes sex with a woman can get boring!
I know, you probably think I’m completely nuts for saying this. But it’s true. If you’ve been having sex with one woman for awhile, then you’ve probably tried every conceivable position and technique. Even if you’re with the most beautiful girl in the world, there will be a time when things have grown stagnant.
Niagara Falls – Swingers Paradise
NIAGARA FALLS, Ont. – Sexyboots, as she prefers to be called, admits she’ll be committing adultery in Niagara Falls this weekend.
But she won’t be cheating. In fact, her husband will likely be in the same room nodding with approval.
This is how they keep their marriage strong, she insists. And their swinger friends, who they know very well, tend to agree.
“Most of our friends have been married between 22 and 12 years, and have been in the lifestyle for at least five,” she said from her home in Toronto.
“People naturally lust after more than their spouse. Some act on it without consent and have affairs, some repress it, some acknowledge but don’t act on it.”
“I’m not advocating this for everyone – you have to be able to trust your spouse implicitly.”
Sexyboots, 37, and her husband will be among the hundreds of couples expected to attend this weekend’s Valentines in Niagara erotic convention and expo.
Organized by the swinger-friendly website OntarioCouples.com, it will be held in an undisclosed hotel to protect privacy and keep undesirables away.
Privacy is key to an event like this because some couples are still experimenting and don’t need the added scrutiny, Sexyboots said.
Others simply don’t know what they’d tell their friends and family if their secret was revealed.
“My family would not be shocked, partially because they know we have a good sex life (and) they are so liberal and open-minded,” she said. “His family would be appalled.”
Several seminars are scheduled for the expo, including pole-dancing classes and a tantric sex workshop. The entire three-day event costs $598 per couple.
While Sexyboots said sex is definitely in the air this weekend, it’s also a chance to do the “regular” couple thing and visit Niagara Falls.
“It’s a mini vacation for many of the couples. No job, kids, parents, in-laws, housework, errands – just you and your honey and whatever you want to do.”
That suits Niagara Falls Tourism just fine.
After an initial chuckle, executive director Anna Pierce pointed out swingers are tourists just like everyone else.
“We definitely welcome all visitors to Niagara Falls, and we’d like to feel that we’re open to any groups wanting to come and enjoy our city,” she said.
“As long as it stays in the comfort of their own suites, we’re fine. It’s a good, strong group of people, and we can definitely use the business.”
When Does Swinging Become Cheating
It is a myth that choosing an open relationship, or swinging, means that you are allowed to cheat. Couples living "The Lifestyle" define what their commitment means to them and both parties are expected to respect that agreement. It isn’t that different from what many couples do in monogamous relationships. One couple might think it is perfectly fine for each person to view porn or go to strip clubs while these things would constitute cheating to another couple. A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t feel comfortable telling your partner about what you have done then it is cheating.
Anne and Mike are a couple in their 50’s I met at a convention in Orlando who had been living the lifestyle for over a decade. They considered themselves to be fluid monogamous, which meant that they were able to fool around with other people freely as long as there were no fluids exchanged. They agreed to this in part because of concerns about sexually transmitted diseases but also because they enjoyed the idea of that part of the sexual act being special to them. Mike came home one night and confessed that he had been having unprotected intercourse with a new partner breaking their agreement and in effect cheating on her. They were able to overcome this betrayal over time but they had to work hard to rebuild trust. It was hard for some people to understand why Anne was so upset. If she was okay with her partner having sex with other people then what was the difference? But it isn’t that simple. At the heart of any open relationship is trust that the other person will act responsible and respect your primary bond. Without that trust what is the purpose of having a swinging relationship instead of just a series of casual sexual encounters?
If you are new to swinging or have been doing it for a long time it is important to have periodic conversations about what is acceptable within the bounds of the relationship. Talk about who is, and isn’t, an acceptable partner, for instance if it’s okay for someone to get involved with an ex or with someone who is a close friend of yours. You may be okay with the idea of your partner having sex with another person, unless that other person is you cousin or best friend. Now is the time to draw those boundaries. If there are any acts that are off limits with new people then that is also important to spell out ahead of time. Another common boundary in swinging relationships is that there must be prior permission granted before the other person can begin a sexual relationship with someone new. I’ve even seen some couples that only allow a swap or swing when they are able to stay in the same room as it goes on. There is no right or wrong way to do this. It is a lifestyle choice. But if you don’t have the rules spelled out before hand then the result is usually feeling of hurt and betrayal.
What happens if you feel yourself tempted to cheat in your open relationship? When you first have those pangs of temptation then go to your partner and talk about it. It’s possible that they will agree to a change in rule in this circumstance that solves your problem. But even if they don’t often times just talking out the situation can help you understand what it was about the temptation that attracted you in the first place. The thrill of the forbidden is sometimes what you are really craving and talking about it makes it less exciting. But cheating is never the right thing to do. Even if the other person never finds out about it you will carry around the guilt of what happened. If you are unable to be satisfied within the confines of the relationship you and your partner agree to then it is better to leave it and let them find someone more suited to them then to cheat.
What Is Tantric Sex Really All About
Is Tantric Sex simply a technique for making sex last longer? Is it a technique to make orgasm more pleasurable, longer and more intense? Or is it something far greater which most people cannot even begin to conceptualize?
For the ordinary individual the idea of an orgasm that can fill your entire body and go on in pulsating bursts for hours on end sounds totally preposterous! But what if this is exactly what Tantric Sex can lead to? What if the orgasm we have all experienced is simply the release of a tiny amount of sexual energy into the genital area which stimulates the many nerve endings located there, thus giving us a pleasurable sensation? What if sexual energy could be controlled and circulated throughout the body to stimulate all nerve endings and thus cause an orgasm that fills the entire body?
Did you know that 40% of your daily energy goes into the production of sperm or eggs? When a man ejaculates he loses an enormous amount of energy and usually becomes tired as a consequence. For a female it is menstruation that leads to a loss of sexual energy but for both the consequences are the same. A huge amount of highly charged sexual energy is lost which could have been used for greater health and pleasure.
What if you could stop the loss of sexual energy and thus build it, cultivate it and circulate it throughout your body? Does it not make sense that with so much more energy to use your physical body would become stronger and healthier? Does it not also make sense that with more energy you will be able to have much more sex, for much longer periods and with greater pleasure? Well this is exactly what does happen and it can lead to full body orgasms that you could not even begin to imagine!
Another aspect of the cultivation of sexual energy is that it puts pressure on your emotions. During a woman’s cycle she builds up sexual energy which gets to a peak just before menstruation where the energy is evacuated with the eggs and uterine lining. At this point she may become very emotional and may even feel physical pain from the built up energy. Once it is released she is suddenly relaxed again and her husband can also relax! When a man has not ejaculated for a while he may become agitated, obsessed with thoughts of sex and be unable to concentrate. He may also become more emotional. His testicles will become swollen and he will feel physical pain due to the build up in energy. When it is released he feels immediate relief and can think straight again.
If someone was to begin cultivating their sexual energy they would inevitably be confronted by emotions which the extra energy is putting pressure on. If they instead of releasing the energy, continue to cultivate it these emotions will be brought to the foreground of consciousness until they are cleared or changed. In this way the person’s emotional energy is actually transformed through the cultivation of sexual energy and they may become free of emotional issues. This is very important to understand because it is emotional issues which prevent sexual energy from flowing throughout the body in the first place. Emotional issues cause blockages in the flow of energy and therefore prevent the flow of sexual energy during sex. Due to this people’s sexual energy is trapped in their genitals where it cannot be cultivated. The genitals can hold only so much energy before they must release it. Therefore you cannot cultivate sexual energy without also unblocking the paths for it to travel into the body.
The possibilities of pleasure are truly infinite but it involves a process of clearing! Tantric sex is not just about having better sex. It is about an actual transformation of energy which frees you from past conditioning and opens you up to experiences of a higher nature. Only with clear energy channels can sexual energy flow freely throughout the body and lead to true ecstasy!
